Eating Dinner with Children, Or A Solo Parent's Guide on How to not Eat a Warm Meal

So SSG Hubs is away again. Which means I am back to being a solo parent (my preferred term to single parent.) And tonight was your typical dinner. So allow me to offer a guide on how dinner goes in our home. Family dinner time togetherness is so overrated.

Eating Dinner with Children

1. Prepare meal. Hope children will eat said meal. (See The Captain: Our Sensational Kid for explanation.)
2. Demand children set table.
3. Change mind and serve out of cookware on counter as it's easier.
4. Send children to bathroom to wash hands they were told to wash before setting the table they didn't set.
5. Prepare plates for children.
6. Cut food for younger children. Argue with older children that they are more than capable of cutting their own food.
7. Prepare plate for self.
8. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
9. Put utensil down to serve another helping to one or more children, who have finished first serving before you have even started yours.
10. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
11. Put utensil back to down to serve child who previously did not want more when other sibling(s) was served.
12. Retrieve dropped silverware from floor and replace with clean.
13. Remind children that shirts are not napkins and then hand out napkins after realizing you forgot them in the first place.
14. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
15. Put utensil back down to serve beverages.
16. Wonder why you decided to skip bottle of favorite wine during last trip to grocery store.
17. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
18. Put utensil back down and stare longingly at your food as you stand up to clean spilt milk.
19. Decide you are never going to eat a warm meal again as you leave table to bathe milk covered child.
20. Reheat meal two hours later after children are in bed and enjoy meal in peace and quiet.

Uncle Sam, We did Our Chores, Why can't We have Our Allowance?

I just got done reading an article posted on armytimes.com today about the impending government shutdown and the possibility of not receiving pay in mid-October*; and two things immediately happened. First, I started the momentary freak out in the back of my head wondering how the hell we are going to survive not getting paid**. After about thirty seconds, I calmed down and started running through a list in my head. The sad thing is that since this is not the first time we've dealt with this issue, the list is already there. It's already been created. The problem is this is the first time we've been solely dependent on the Army for our paychecks when this list has been put into play. And yes I do mean "our pay." SGT Hubs may be the one working, but I am the one paying the bills, managing the homefront and feeding our monsters on a day-to-day basis.

What's frightening to me is that half of the list running through my head, I wasn't even aware I was doing. I started thinking about the conversation SGT Hubs and I would need to have this evening as I walked through the house shutting off lights left on by the monsters. I knew I was shutting the lights off, which should be a habit anyway. But in our tiny apartment, we usually leave the lights on as there are so few windows to bring light from outside. But subconsciously I was thinking about dropping the electric bill as low as possible. I started double checking to make sure I had supplies already on had to make my homemade cleaning supplies. I was debating if I have enough ink in the printer for coupons to save money on groceries. These are all things I try to do anyway but not as a rule. It's a "when I remember" thing, not a "because I have to since there might not be any money" thing. And then begin the questions. The questions I wish I could ask the people responsible for the near fear I am experiencing right now. So here is an open letter to Congress that I wish they could read.

Dear Congress,

Why? Why are we the ones to suffer? Yes, my husband and I did know what we were getting into when he signed on the dotted line. We talked long and hard about the possibilities of what lay ahead when he decided to reenlist. Not being paid wasn't one of them. Yes, we knew he would be deployed and multiple times. I haven't complained about that. Am I happy about it? No. Have I whined about him not being home to help? Yes. But I accept it. I know it's his job. But it's your job to compensate him and the thousands of other men and women who gave up their freedom to protect this country.

What I don't understand is that when faced with the reality of a budget change, I can handle it better. I shut lights off, cut coupons, and say no to the angelic faces begging me for a Happy Meal. What's wrong with you that you can't learn from that? Have you forgotten how to do those things? In all likelihood you never had to worry about such things in your lives. Ever. And if you did, you obviously aren't yelling loud enough for you counterparts to hear. Or maybe that's the problem. There's too much yelling and not enough listening. We have that problem in our house too. But I am also teaching the monsters that it's important to take turns talking and listening to other people. Sounds like you need to find your listening ears. The ones you have on are obviously not working.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Put a bunch of E4, E5, even E6 wives in charge of your budget and we'll get you straightened out. We are used to stretching that almighty dollar to cover food, bills, daycare/preschool, soccer/football/horseback riding lessons, and the all too frequent "Mom, my shoes are too tight again!" I expect there to be whining on your part. I expect complaining. I expect not everyone to be happy with the outcome. But you know what? After living the monsters for the last almost five and nine years respectively (I said almost, it gets the point across), I really don't think you can top the whine/scream/ear-piercing decibel level that is a cranky, overtired four year old not getting his way and hearing mom say a very firm, for the fifth and final time, "No." I'm pretty good at tuning that out. You might even say ignoring it.

So, Congress, this is Mom talking. That's Mom with a capital M to you, by the way. I'm giving you one last chance to get this budget issue squared away. And I swear if you don't, I will come out there to DC and give you ground you all. And it won't be the military and their families worrying about how they are going to put food on the table and pay the bills. And if you're lucky I might just bring my "We WILL get along!" shirt.

Sincerely yours,
Mom, HH6 of this household

 

*According to the article we will receive our pay eventually, when Congress fixes the budget issue. I hate that word. Eventually does not take care of our bills. I feel Congress should be responsible for calling our creditors, leasing office, utility companies, etc. and explain to them why they may be receiving their payments late from us.

 

**I suggest my fellow Military Spouses check out this link on ways to make the possible temporary loss of pay a little easier. A little. It's better than nothing.

The Return of Darth Samius

So as if my life isn't crazy enough, I took The Captain to the doc today to find out he has croup, again. Poor kid can't catch a break. For that matter, poor mom can't catch a break either, as this was our second trip to the peds this week, our third in two weeks, and we'll be back there next week (most of the trips have been for Apprentice though.) On top of already not feeling well, The Captain had two separate meltdowns thanks to hating anything being put in his ears. So I got to hold down a screaming monster in the middle of the hallway to get his temp taken and then again so the doc could look in his ears. She was very impressed by my strength and quickness however. I hate forcing him to sit through anything that goes against his SPD but knew we needed an accurate temp since every time I checked him at home he was running a low-grade fever. But honestly it breaks my heart listening to him screaming that it hurts his ears. It reminds me that while he's come a long way, he still has so far to go. Fortunately for all involved, the doc was able to figure things out pretty quick and we got out of there asap. I did try to make up for things by taking him to Costco, where we were able to procure ourselves some yummy samples. That made everyone all smiles again. In the meantime, I wonder if I can one of the docs at the peds office to prescribe me a very large bottle of wine to make everything all better?

The Return of Darth Samius

Tales of a Big Yellow Chicken Named....Mom

I don't like creepy crawlies. It's a well known fact. Bugs, spiders, snakes...*massive shudder*...we just don't get along. So I went into the monsters' room shortly ago to check on them and turn their fan back on, (I thought it was supposed to cool down after the storms!) and a large black spot caught my eye. Now I swear up and down I saw this thing move, which is probably why it stood out from everything else on their floor. I leaned in for a closer look and saw legs.



First glance, is it moving?

Fortunately for the monsters, I did NOT scream at the top of my lungs and run from the room. I took a deep breath, turned on the flashlight on my phone (thank god there's an app for that!) and poked at it with a long Lego. It did not scream and run away either. Turns out it was a plastic spider one of them had gotten at some point. Yeah, I think that will be disappearing the next time I clean out their toys.



Up close and personal, look at that plastic sheen.

Pardon me while I slink away in embarrassment now...

First Days of School, AKA Mommy's Free!

Apprentice started first this year, heading into third grade. He's pretty excited (though he won't openly admit it.) This year marks a major step forward for him as he was accepted to the district gifted program. Way to go kid!



 

So after having all the teachers comment at the school open house comment on how much Apprentice had grown, I decided to compare last year's first day picture to this year's first day picture. I guess he really has grown.

 

The following week, The Captain started at his new preschool. This is another major step forward for one of my monsters. While therapy has been going well for The Captain, every other week is just not enough for the poor kid. My only current frustration is that he decided to behave the day of his evaluation. So he while he was accepted to the preschool, he is there as a typical kid as opposed to an exceptional kid. Here's hoping the "honeymoon period" wears off quickly. He does like his new teacher, Miss Maria, very much.

Both monsters seem to be doing well so far. Mom, meanwhile, is quite enjoying her freedom.

Is that "Catch up" or "Ketchup"?

So as you might be able to guess, it's been little hectic around here this summer. But with both monsters in school, I am hoping to finally get back to sharing our fun little moments. So bear with me while I continue to play catch up here. I am also hoping to post some realtime posts in between. Enjoy!

Adventures in the Sandbox

Eight weeks ago I was cleaning our living room in preparation for a home visit from the preschool we have been hoping to get the Captain into when my phone rang. What followed, as well as the moments leading up to that point, will forever be etched in my memory . It was SGT Hubby calling from WLC. Normally this would have not been strange, except for the fact that in the week that he had been away so far, he had only been calling at night to say goodnight to the Monsters and I before bed. This call came midmorning.

 

SGT Hubby: I just got a phone call...

 

I immediately started thinking he had finally heard about a fulltime guard position we had been waiting to hear about since December (which we found out later he had not gotten).

 

SGT Hubby: ...from the Commander.

 

Me: What's wrong?

 

He then proceeded to tell me that he was possibly being deployed but it wasn't a for sure thing yet.

Well, here we are eight weeks later, and we are at the start of our second deployment.

 

It's been a whirlwind romance. In the eight weeks between the original phone call and today, I saw SGT Hubby nineteen days out of fifty-six days. We tried to pack as much as we could in the days we had him, but between him working his civilian job still and the Apprentice still being in school, the time passed far too quickly. I also do not feel as though reality has set in yet.

 

With our first deployment, we knew over a year in advance that he would be leaving. It loomed over our heads through all the holidays and birthdays we had prior to him leaving. This time around we were able to enjoy those holidays blissfully unaware of the trainwreck what the future held for us. But the lack of time to prepare can be just as bad. It's only the first day in and I am discovering things that we overlooked in our preparations. That is the nature of deployment and more things will surface. And we will overcome them. Because we are strong. We have to be.