Eating Dinner with Children, Or A Solo Parent's Guide on How to not Eat a Warm Meal

So SSG Hubs is away again. Which means I am back to being a solo parent (my preferred term to single parent.) And tonight was your typical dinner. So allow me to offer a guide on how dinner goes in our home. Family dinner time togetherness is so overrated.

Eating Dinner with Children

1. Prepare meal. Hope children will eat said meal. (See The Captain: Our Sensational Kid for explanation.)
2. Demand children set table.
3. Change mind and serve out of cookware on counter as it's easier.
4. Send children to bathroom to wash hands they were told to wash before setting the table they didn't set.
5. Prepare plates for children.
6. Cut food for younger children. Argue with older children that they are more than capable of cutting their own food.
7. Prepare plate for self.
8. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
9. Put utensil down to serve another helping to one or more children, who have finished first serving before you have even started yours.
10. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
11. Put utensil back to down to serve child who previously did not want more when other sibling(s) was served.
12. Retrieve dropped silverware from floor and replace with clean.
13. Remind children that shirts are not napkins and then hand out napkins after realizing you forgot them in the first place.
14. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
15. Put utensil back down to serve beverages.
16. Wonder why you decided to skip bottle of favorite wine during last trip to grocery store.
17. Sit down and pick up utensil to begin eating.
18. Put utensil back down and stare longingly at your food as you stand up to clean spilt milk.
19. Decide you are never going to eat a warm meal again as you leave table to bathe milk covered child.
20. Reheat meal two hours later after children are in bed and enjoy meal in peace and quiet.